RIS 2025 — Human Appeal's Speaker's Corner with Farooq
The Verse
"And test the orphans until they reach the age of marriage. Then if you perceive in them sound judgment, hand over to them their wealth..." — An-Nisa 4:6
The word ibtalu (test) means train them. Give them practice with money before handing over the real thing.
The Climate
Your kids are learning about money right now. The question is: what are they learning?
Research shows money habits form by age 7 — before any formal education.
They're absorbing the climate: the emotional atmosphere in your home around money.
The Four Climates
Think about YOUR upbringing:
- A or B: Did your family talk about money (A) or was it quiet (B)?
- 1 or 2: Was the mood tense (1) or relaxed (2)?
Climate | What it means |
A1 — Unstable | Money was discussed, but tense. Arguments, stress. |
A2 — Secure | Money was discussed and relaxed. Open conversations. |
B1 — Uneasy | Money wasn't discussed, but tension was in the air. |
B2 — Unaware | Money wasn't discussed. It felt relaxed. |
The climate you create becomes the climate they inherit.
The Gap
Schools teach financial literacy. So why doesn't anyone feel like they learned it?
- Knowledge gap: You don't know something → close it with information
- Behavior gap: You know what to do but don't do it → only systems can close this
Information can't close a behavior gap. Only systems can.
The Map: Play → Manage → Earn
"Play with them for seven. Teach them for seven. Befriend them for seven. Then let them go."
Age | Phase | Focus | What You Do |
0-7 | Play | Mindset | Stories, duas, words, games |
7-14 | Manage | Practice | Triple Split: Spend, Save, Share |
14-21 | Earn | Systems | Work, bring money in, feel tradeoffs |
Phase 1: Play (0-7) — Mindset
Goal: Shift from owners to managers
- Stories: Maryam's provision, Hajar and Zamzam, Qarun's arrogance
- Duas: "Allahumma barik lana fima razaqtana" — and explain what it means
- Words: "We don't own this. It's from Allah. We're just taking care of it."
- Games: Play store, count coins, pretend transactions
Phase 2: Manage (7-14) — Practice
Tool: The Triple Split
Every time your child receives money, ask:
- How much do you want to SPEND? (for you, now)
- How much do you want to SAVE? (for you, later)
- How much do you want to SHARE? (for others, sadaqah)
Get three jars. Make it physical. Let them decide.
It's about the process, not the perfect ratio.
Phase 3: Earn (14-21) — Systems
Now they bring money in themselves. When you trade time for dollars, everything becomes real.
- Bank accounts (not just jars)
- Automatic transfers
- Real budgeting
- You're no longer the teacher — you're the mentor
The Catch
فاقد الشيء لا يعطيه
"Faqid ash-shay' la yu'tih."
"The one who lacks something cannot give it."
If your own financial house is chaotic, the climate will be tense. The best gift you can give your kids might be fixing your own stuff first.
Your Homework
0-7: Tell one money story this week (Maryam, Hajar, Qarun, or your family)
7-14: Next time money arrives, do a Triple Split with three jars
14-21: Pick something coming up. Set a budget. Hand it to them. Let them make the tradeoffs.